This blog shares 3 ways to trust yourself more. At some point in our lives, all of us have been faced with difficult choices to make. These decisions are not easy, and we may very well want to avoid making them. In fact, we may turn to others to make them for us.
It brings us discomfort to think about leaving our comfort zone, denying others access to us, starting a new life journey, or ending an era. Many of us thrive in our comfortable zones, with recognizable and familiar people, places, and things around us.
We want support in considering tough decisions, but should also hold all the power in making them.
We may feel the need to have others’ confirmation or aid in making decisions for ourselves. While it is okay to consult with others and gather their opinions, frequently doing this is not healthy behavior. It creates a dependency on others for their feedback, and lessens the value and importance of our own opinions.
3 ways to trust yourself more include: 1) Understand what your values are, and what is important to you on all levels. 2) Start with small ways to listen to your gut. 3) Understand what your core needs are, and how to meet them.
You may struggle with trusting yourself as a result of anxiety. Anxiety therapy can help you understand the root cause, and your anxiety therapist will help you learn to cope with it on a regular basis. Check out our latest blog on How to Be Vulnerable.
3 Ways to Trust Yourself More: Understand what your values are and what is important to you on all levels.
Your values can be anything you expect out of yourself, others, or the society around you. Values are basic and strong beliefs that guide or motivate us. This could be through our attitudes, our actions, and more. You can identify your values by defining what you believe is important.
With your values you’ve identified, find ways to surround yourself with people who have similar values. Oftentimes, we may feel strayed from our core values to make room for someone else. This could look like justifying their actions or excusing behavior that doesn’t truly sit well with us. We do this because we gain something from this person, whether it be love, friendship, or other things.
Along with values, you should also consider some of your boundaries. These can be personal boundaries, for how you can address your needs yourself, or external boundaries, for how others can address your needs. In situations that feel uncertain or not in alignment with us, find ways to refer back to our original values or boundaries you’ve established.
If you have struggled in a toxic or unhealthy relationship before, you know that it can lead to you feeling unsure about what you really want. In trauma counseling, you will work with a trauma therapist in a non-judgmental, compassionate space.
3 Ways to Trust Yourself More: Start with small ways to listen to your gut
When in situations where you need to make decisions, you start to internally panic. You go back and forth between, yes, that sounds like a good plan, no, I should do this instead! It’s hard for you to feel satisfied and resolved with decisions you make. You often relive the decision you’ve made, thinking about the alternatives that could’ve happened.
These situations don’t have to be life-or-death to be justified with having anxiety around. Individuals with anxiety or trauma experience uncertainty, and may struggle to break from a “what-if?” spiral, or thinking of hypothetical situations. Individuals with depression or grief may ruminate on past decisions, and feel unable to let them go.
Each scenario can be distressing. Even if you are not struggling with a mental disorder, it’s common to still have difficulty trusting yourself. Starting small helps you expose yourself and your system to moments of independence with little consequence for your decisions.
This could look like deciding what to have for dinner. While it may sound like a silly exercise, it may actually help you coach yourself into making and accepting decisions. You would consider two options that sound good, and pick one that you would like to have more.
To get better acquainted with your needs, it also helps to acknowledge the reasons why you chose those specific options (i.e., “I feel like my body needs something fresh and healthy today,” or “Today was a tough day and I want comfort food.”). From there, apply this thinking to other decisions you come across.
If you are looking to build your self-trust and heal from past trauma, look no further than trauma counseling in Simi Valley. Our trauma therapists guide you in achieving your goals for coping with symptoms of PTSD, grief, depression, anxiety, and more! Make sure to read our blog on How to Stop Invalidating Yourself.
3 Ways to Trust Yourself More: Understand what your core needs are and how to meet them.
Based on your typical history, what do you need on a daily basis? An example of this could look like a water bottle, having a phone charger, having chapstick, sunscreen, keys, etc. You could have physical needs for staying hydrated, staying connected with others, not getting locked out, or general hygiene / care products throughout the day.
Alongside this, you may have emotional needs. Let’s talk about potential established boundaries with your friends, family, or partner(s). When you or they have a busy schedule, there can only be brief check-ins. You may desire a quick phone call at some point during the day, or ask that you are not contacted at all.
Whatever it may be, you have core needs to attend to. For any core needs you may have, or may anticipate having, prepare for them yourself. Understand how you can meet your own needs, or communicate to others on how they can meet your needs. Therefore, make it clear what is and what is not helpful for you.
If you feel that others are constantly trying to devalue your needs or minimize them, they may be contributing to you not fully trusting yourself. Make sure to read our blog on 5 Signs It’s Time to Emotionally Detach from Someone! If you and your partner are just on the wrong page, and want to seek out couples counseling or marriage therapy, click here.
When we are able to trust ourselves more, we may experience increased self-confidence, greater resiliency and acceptance, and overall better navigate everyday stressors.
In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you.
By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. Make sure to check out our blog on How to Validate Yourself!
Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.