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Here are some tips to successfully co-parent with your ex partner. You were once in a relationship or marriage together, and had children. Now, you are separated, or in the process of separating, and need to coordinate child care. This can feel overwhelming, especially if there are hard feelings toward one another.
In the end, your child’s safety and well-being is a priority when it comes to co-parenting. It’s important to remember that the child is not at fault for whatever has happened with you and your ex-partner. While you may still have disagreements or grudges towards them, being civil will go a long way for your child.
Successful co-parenting can take some work and trial and error. It’s normal to feel different emotions come up such as frustration, irritation, sadness, or anger. Being able to be self-aware of how you are affected while co-parenting can aid in helping you feel peace and getting much-needed support.
Whether you and your ex-partner are at an impasse with one another, or you are civil and looking forward to co-parenting together, these tips will help you. First, work on healing yourself. That can be through individual therapy to have a safe space to work through difficult things from your past relationship or managing day-to-day stress.
Next, leave the children out of disagreements or bad feelings. Be flexible with the other parent in terms of schedules or availability. Finally, consider spending time all together if possible. From there, your journey for successful co-parenting can improve.
Consider parenting therapy in Simi Valley, CA, where both parents are supported to reach their full potential and their goals together.
Parenting therapy is a normal and healthy routine to get into. You are able to have a safe space to work through parenting concerns and address anything as it comes up.
5 Tips to Successfully Co-Parent with Your Ex: Work on healing yourself
It’s possible that coming out of a separation, you are struggling with difficult feelings. There may have been something that’s happened between you and your ex that left you feeling hurt. This can look like separating due to infidelity, differences in wants or needs, or other circumstances.
Healing yourself may take time, and is an important step in order to be fully present for your child. This could look like spending more time with people who uplift and support you, such as friends or family members. You may want to look into fitness programs, like gyms or yoga classes, or begin exercising on your own. Incorporating time to move your body and be active can help relieve stress, anxiety, depression, and tension. Furthermore, you might make new friends and connections, and therefore gain resources and support.
You can also begin coordinating more self-care days. By taking care of your body, mind, and soul, you can feel more energized, stable, and content within yourself. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, like reading, playing with your pets, creating art, and more.
There may have been instances where you felt disrespected or let down by your ex. This can be difficult to overcome alone. Even if you have supportive friends or family by your side, you could benefit from professional support.
Individual therapy in Simi Valley, CA provides you with your own safe space. You don’t have to worry about talking about the same issues over and over with your therapist. In therapy, you have the floor to talk through whatever is important to you.
Check out our blog on Therapy: Where to Start for tips on how you can begin your therapy journey.
5 Tips to Successfully Co-Parent with Your Ex: Leave the children out of disagreements or bad feelings
It’s important to leave children out of disagreements or bad feelings toward the other parent. You don’t want to use your child as someone you can vent to when your ex or co-parent is doing something upsetting. This could be any issues or situations unrelated to your child, such as them having a new partner.
It is inappropriate to tell your child bad feelings about your ex to try and get them to dislike the other parent. They may not fully understand the circumstances or situation and can end up internalizing feelings of anger, confusion, or sadness. This could potentially lead to behavioral problems or mental health issues as they grow older.
Communicating through your child can do harm in a few ways. Not only does that put a lot of pressure on your child, but you are highly unlikely to be productive with your ex over any issues. Having a tolerable relationship with your ex partner where you can voice feelings and talk to one another could be an important goal, if realistic.
Continue to check in with your child if you are having any concerns about their well-being, such as with hygiene, sleep, feeding, and more. However, if there are any disagreements or bad feelings, communicate directly with the other parent. Hold any conversations about child-care with trusted adults or seek legal help as well if needed.
Family therapy in Simi Valley, CA is a great option for those looking to expand understanding and communication throughout the family. Everyone in the room is individually supported, while the family as a whole are challenged to grow together.
Family therapy helps address every member’s concerns and feelings towards a situation. A family therapist will be able to help your family successfully navigate difficult topics and mediate conversations.
5 Tips to Successfully Co-Parent with Your Ex: Be flexible
Being flexible with the other parent can be approached in a few different ways. Maybe you are needing to rearrange driving schedules to accommodate your or their work schedule. It could be that there is some event going on for them, and you’re needing to have the child an extra day or two.
Being flexible is good for the sake of your child as well. Denying accommodating schedules or temporary changes can make it difficult for everyone – especially if it’s related to your own feelings, and not what is best for your child. It can take some work and effort from both sides to be flexible with one another.
Practicing acceptance is one way to be flexible with the other parent. When things happen that are out of your control, they can definitely cause stress. However, work to accept reality as it is – without necessarily agreeing with it.
Anxiety therapy in Simi Valley, CA helps you address feelings of overwhelm, stress, and worry in a safe environment. By using evidence-based practices and interventions, anxiety therapists help you acquire effective coping strategies and skill sets.
Symptoms of anxiety can leave you feeling mentally drained and overwhelmed. When you seek out the support you need, you begin feeling relief.
Tips to Successfully Co-Parent with Your Ex: Be responsive and focused
Remain in communication with your ex and be responsive with one another. This can look like readily responding to text or phone calls from them. Be in communication about your child’s needs, such as important events, pediatrician or dentist visits, clothing or hygiene, or school-related information.
It can be easy to feel that you simply do not want to speak with your ex. You may not want to respond to texts or calls if you feel that they are not urgent or important to you at that moment. However, it is important to maintain the focus on your child.
If you are able to hold normal conversations other than about your child, that is a good first step. Acknowledging that the other parent has love and care for your child as you do and that it is important for your child’s well-being will make it easier to want to respond.
Parenting therapy in Simi Valley, CA holds a space for parents. Whether you are two biological parents, a single parent, adoptive parents, or step-parents – all are supported and included. This service is a great option for parents wanting to better understand parenting approaches that work for everyone.
Whoever said that creating and guiding a family was easy, linear, or simple was way off! There’s certainly no rulebook, map, or list of steps to navigate these issues. No two families are the same, and therefore each family as a whole has different needs.
5 Tips to Successfully Co-Parent with Your Ex: Consider spending time all together if possible
There may be circumstances where you are unable to spend time together with your ex and your children. This could be if you live far away and have conflicting schedules. Or, you may be unwilling to do so. You may not feel comfortable and only interact for the sake of your child.
If you are able to successfully spend any bit of time together every now and then, that would be beneficial for your child. They may enjoy their solo time with both of you, but would enjoy having the two of you together. They may even feel relief knowing that their parents can still communicate and be around one another peacefully.
This can look like going out for lunch, walking around the park, having a cordial talk during drop-offs or pick-ups, or going to the playground for a short time together. When everyone present is engaged, the whole family will benefit from this experience. You can feel good knowing that your child had a special day with both parents present.
Family therapy in Simi Valley, CA works with a goal to help the family unit grow and prosper together. The environment in which a child is raised is very important to their short-term and long-term mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Being able to have a safe space to address any areas of concern will lead to effective change.
Check out our blog on 4 Reasons to Start Family Therapy to understand if family therapy would be the right fit for you.
By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either.
Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation!
Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.