This blog shares 5 tips for how to be patient with yourself. At times, you may struggle with feeling satisfied with yourself and your life. Some days, you’re proud, and other days, you feel frustrated with where you’re at. You want to be making more money, achieving higher goals, having more time to yourself, etc. 


Whatever the situation may be, you aren’t currently satisfied with it. You may have experienced set-backs or roadblocks, making the end-goal seem more out of reach. However, you can find ways to make do, and come to terms of accepting where you’re at. And, remaining resilient to see your goal through the end.


If you continue to be unhappy with your present moment, while imagining more for yourself, you will continue a cycle of being unhappy in the present moment. Finding ways to make things work and make sense now, can ultimately help you in the long run. 


Our 5 ways to be patient with yourself include: 1) Accept where you’re currently at. 2) Avoid self-comparisons to others. 3) Be kind to yourself. 4) Create and follow reasonable action plans. 5) Use inspiring mantras, quotes, or other reasons to stay motivated and disciplined.


How to Be Patient with Yourself: Accept where you’re currently at

trainer and older woman excited about her meeting her goals to be a bit more fit in her life after she started individual therapy

Find ways to accept where you’re currently at in life. This does not mean that you have to love where you’re at and only feel satisfied with it. It’s okay to take moments to experience feelings of stress or dislike with things in your life. Finding small ways to feel good about it, can help you cope and be resilient.


Focusing on what we don’t have can stop us from focusing on what we do have. This also includes our end-goal, and focusing on what we’re currently doing to get there. It can be easy to get distracted from what we want to do, due to feeling impatient about getting there. 


However, when you keep in mind your end-goal, you can appreciate the steps you are taking now to get there. With time and persistence, you can put your mind to anything. Appreciate what you are currently doing, and what you are currently learning. Expressing gratitude for what you have, the things you’ve accomplished, and future opportunities can be a great help.


Acknowledge all of the building blocks and foundations of knowledge you are acquiring to get to a higher place. It can be hard to practice gratitude for where we are now, that is shaping us for who we are becoming.


This goes for any situation you find yourself wanting to grow in. This could be saving up a certain amount of money, incorporating better habits into your life, being more social, achieving more in school or work, and more. 


Taking small steps each day, while recognizing them as significant, helps you accept your position on your journey. You may even realize you’re actually okay with some things right now, and feel good about aspects of your situation.


Anxiety therapy helps you slow down, and re-orient you to the present. It can be easy to get caught up in the past, and worry about your future. Make sure to check out our blog on 5 Ways to Quickly Ground Yourself!


How to Be Patient with Yourself: Avoid self-comparisons to others

woman starting a business in adulthood feeling all the emotions of nervousness and excitement but pushing herself after trauma therapy

Avoid self-comparisons to others. In this day and age of technology and social media, we may see others living a life we want to be living. You may experience jealousy, frustration, sadness, or hopelessness. You think to yourself, “Why can’t that be me, why can’t I live like that, why don’t I have that,” as you scroll.


Aside from social media, you may do this in real-life, within the workplace, within school settings, within the home or relationships, and more. Others’ success makes you feel inferior, and may even leave you feeling discouraged from keeping going. This can be especially relevant if you have unsupportive relationships that keep you thinking low of yourself. 


Comparing yourself to others can happen unconsciously. You may be unsatisfied with your physical looks, your status, and more about yourself. The self-comparison comes from deep-rooted insecurities or hidden pain around certain situations. Until you acknowledge and heal from that, you may be stuck in a cycle of unhappiness.


Remind yourself that everyone has their own unique life journeys. It’s unlikely that you would share the same journey as someone else, although you may share similar experiences. With this, people can withhold their own truths or realities of their own lives. Even though something seems “picture perfect,” it may very well be the exact opposite.


Therapy for depression helps you find purpose or meaning in your life. Consider reading our blog on Men’s Mental Health is Important, which shares resources and background on why it is often downplayed.


How to Be Patient with Yourself: Be kind to yourself

young business man feeling good after a successful meeting that he built his confidence from thanks to anxiety therapy

Be kind to yourself and guide yourself with patience and understanding. You may find that you can only experience a motivating drive when you speak harshly to yourself. The motivation is formed on a base of shame or guilt, such as focusing on what you are lacking in or where you’ve gone wrong. 


Negative statements may be perceived as being a good motivator. You use it as fuel to push yourself by saying things such as, “I need to stop being lazy right now, I will never get anywhere if I don’t start right now, I’m nothing if I don’t do this.”. 


Thinking negatively about yourself can actually have a reverse effect, and potentially de-motivate you in the long run. Even if you’re getting things done, you’re not doing it out of a natural desire or from a place of self-nurturance. You may feel burned-out or overwhelmed as a result. Alongside this, you may also lose hope in yourself and your abilities.


Rather, be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself with confidence, support, and care. It may not feel natural to think, “I’m doing a great job right now, I’ve got this, I can get to that place” but trying to plant those seeds of kindness in your mind can really make a difference.


Trauma therapy can help you curate greater self-love and self-support. It’s common to struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or hopelessness. Make sure to check out our blog on 5 Ways to Cope with Guilt!


How to Be Patient with Yourself: Create and follow reasonable action plans 

two friends reaching fitness goals together and inspiring each other after they both are in anxiety therapy and want to support each other more

Create and follow reasonable action plans to achieve your goals. What small things can you do everyday that will accumulate long-term? This could look like committing 5 minutes to an hour to your craft. You may even pick a certain thing each day to complete, which the following day’s task will precede.


A good idea would be to create a sort of timeline as well. Think of it as writing a paper in school. You have various sections to complete, that all have different ideas being considered that eventually string together. You have a template of section 1, section 2, section 3, conclusion, etc. Can you apply this method to what your end-goal is?


Setting up a pre-planned schedule can aid in this as well. You know what you can expect to accomplish in the month ahead of you. With this, you can also reflect back on past schedules, and feel good about the progress you’ve made so far. 


You cannot expect yourself to be a professional or expert in something overnight. It takes time to build yourself up to greatness, through lots of direct experience. Feeling good that although you do not specialize in something, but you are on your way to be a specialist, can feel good to think about.


Individual therapy provides you with a space to support you in identifying ways to achieve your goals. Consider reading our blog on 3 Benefits of Individual Therapy!


How to Be Patient with Yourself: Use inspiring mantras, quotes, or other reasons to stay motivated or disciplined

three teens watching funny videos together and hanging out after teen therapy in Simi Valley, ca

You may find that certain quotes or mantras give you an extra boost of motivation or confidence. This could be along the lines of: positive self-talk, inspirational quotes, or things people in your life have told you. Other reasons to stay motivated or disciplined could be learning about someone else’s journey, such as through a biography or story.


You may find reason to keep going through other people, or animals. This may be your children, your parents, extended family, your pets, your friends, your partner, your coworkers. Having support along the way can make a difference in how you perceive your abilities to do great things.


Having someone support you along the way helps you maintain motivation. If possible, you may find someone with a similar goal, and you can work together to push each other towards it.


Consider finding reasons within yourself to stay motivated or disciplined! Reflect on what it would mean for you to reach that goal you have in mind. How would that make you feel about yourself? What would that mean for yourself or your future? Would you feel accomplished, proud, or confident?


Remaining focused, secure, and disciplined on your goals helps you get to where you want to be. It’s normal, and expected, to have some days where you lack motivation or a desire to keep going. Hold space for those feelings, and allow yourself to have those moments. Then, use your reasons to remember where you’re going, and pick yourself back up to keep going!


“You learn more from failure than from success. Don’t let it stop you. Failure builds character.” — Unknown


In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you.


By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. Make sure to check out our blog on How to Validate Yourself!


Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation! Make sure to check out our blog on How to Sit with Uncomfortable Feelings.


Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.

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