Couples Counseling for Infidelity

This blog shares what to expect for couples counseling for infidelity. Your partner or you recently disclosed that an affair has been occurring, or recently ended. Whether it was emotional or physical, one of you is feeling betrayed and hurt. 

 

Infidelity is a tough situation for couples to go through. There are lots of difficult and conflicting feelings coming up for both of you. It’s understandable that there are questions surrounding whether to stay in a relationship or not. Infidelity can bring up newfound insecurities, anxieties, and confusion to the table. 

 

The reason why people engage in affairs varies by the situation or relationship. One explanation can be that the partner’s needs are not being met, and there is a lack of communication. One partner may struggle with insecurity, and seek out attention and reassurance from others. 

 

Regardless, you both are here now, wanting to find ways to work through this together. When you’re in couples counseling for infidelity, you can expect to work on a few things. This includes understanding needs, improving communication, and restoring trust. It’s recommended to have individual counseling alongside couples therapy as well. 

 

Couples counseling in Simi Valley, CA is held in-person at convenient hours. Make sure to read our blog on 4 Reasons to Start Couples Therapy!

 

Couples Counseling for Infidelity: Seeking out individual counseling

Seeking out individual counseling before or during couples counseling is highly recommended. While the couples therapist will work to understand both of you, additional space just for yourself can be beneficial for several reasons. 

 

With your individual therapist, you can focus on inner-growth. This includes healing from past traumas, understanding your needs or values, and more. Perhaps there’s other stressors going on in your life that are bleeding into your relationship. This includes finances, family, or career. 

 

In couples counseling, it’s insightful to understand how various things may be contributing to the relationship. How you were raised, societal expectations, past experiences, and more can affect the dynamic. Unresolved, current stressors as described are also important for you and your partner to understand.

 

Having individual counseling benefits you as a person, to help you grow individually. You can gain more insight into your behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. You’ll learn skills to cope, or recognize when you’re emotionally dysregulated. From there, you can apply these findings to your relationships.

 

Individual therapy in Simi Valley provides you with a great opportunity to learn more about yourself. Consider working with one of our therapists in Simi Valley, in-person!

 

Couples Counseling for Infidelity: Understanding each other’s needs

You or your partner felt like your needs were not being met. This includes needs such as intimacy or feeling desired by your partner. It could be that attempts to be intimate, whether physically or emotionally, were consistently rejected. Thus leading one partner to seek out that attention elsewhere. 

 

In couples counseling for infidelity, your therapist will work to help you two clearly define your needs. This doesn’t just apply to intimate needs, but also emotional and physical needs. To define it to each other, you’ll first need to define it to yourself. 

 

Consider what you feel you’re needing more of from your partner in the relationship. Are there certain things you wish to feel or receive from your partner? In what ways can you also provide more for your partner? Consider these examples below for what you feel fulfilled in, and what may need more attention.

 

Examples of needs include:

 

• Feeling safe and secure in the relationship.
• Feeling understood, validated, and heard.
• Feeling loved and appreciated for who you are.
• Feeling recognized for your actions or accomplishments.
• Having time to engage in your own independent activities / have personal time.

 

In couples therapy in Simi Valley, your therapist will help you work as a team to better understand each other’s needs. Make sure to read our blog on 5 Ways to Quickly Ground Yourself!

 

Couples Counseling for Infidelity: Working to improve communication

Improving communication is a common goal and practice in couples therapy. Communication can be a difficult thing to work on – especially if we are experiencing conflicting feelings. However, something hasn’t been working with your current methods, so it’s time to assess areas for growth.

 

There are many things to improve communication on. Communicating our feelings can be uncomfortable or distressing. It may make us feel vulnerable, which in turn pokes at our ego and pride. It’s possible that we are not fully aware of how we’re feeling, and need to strengthen that insight. We need to begin defining, recognizing, and sharing. 

 

Basic improvements of communication include using “I” statements, practicing active listening, and more. In arguments, it’s common that we may not fully hear the other person out. We may just be waiting for our turn to respond or say something. By understanding our communication habits, we can improve them. 

 

We’ve identified 4 Common Communication Problems in Relationships. For support in bettering your communication, consider starting couples counseling in Simi Valley! 

 

Couples Counseling for Infidelity: Restoring trust and intimacy

Within couples counseling for infidelity, a goal may be to restore trust and intimacy. To achieve and work towards this, you’ll need to work on the above first. This includes improving communication, understanding of yourselves and each other, and more. It’ll take time to get to a place that feels comfortable for both of you. 

 

Restoring trust with your partner is not an overnight process. It’s understandable that due to infidelity, more doubts, anxieties, or insecurities are surfacing. Both partners will work on being open and leaning into trust; if the goal is staying together. This also includes taking action to demonstrate that your partner can trust you, as well. 

 

After infidelity, it’s common that partners may want to assume full control over a partner. This includes constantly monitoring their phone, who they’re spending time with, and more. But, this is an unhealthy practice. By working with a professional, you can navigate infidelity together in a safe, healthy way.

 

It’s important that goals to restore trust and intimacy are clearly laid out in couples therapy. Your couples therapist will be there to understand your perspectives, progress, and any concerns. It’s highly recommended to do couples counseling for infidelity – so call us today for a free consultation!

 

We hold couples counseling for infidelity in-person at our office in Simi Valley, CA. Call us to understand how you and your partner can get started, today.

In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.

 

By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. By clicking here, you’ll read our blog on Information About Simi Valley Therapists.

 

Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!

 

Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.