This blog shares advice on how to end a toxic relationship. This relationship may have started feeling like nothing you’ve experienced before. The honeymoon phase was lovely, you feel that you truly met your person, and all was well.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, please seek out help and connect with these resources: Coalition for Family Harmony (805) 983-6014, Interface Children & Family Services (805) 485-6114, or loveisrespect.org (1) 866-331-9474. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 800-799-7233 or text “START” to 88788.
However, that phase has come to an end. Your partner may be showing their true colors, as you’ve gotten more comfortable and closer with each other. You may notice behaviors that aren’t right, such as them being controlling, manipulative, or downright harmful towards you.
Toxic relationships are difficult to leave. A common dynamic is that you have “really good days” alongside having bad or toxic times. This feels normal and predictable to you, so it feels more comfortable to stay. However, this can only really harm you in the long run.
Individual therapy in Simi Valley can help you navigate leaving toxic relationships in a safe and healthy way. Be sure to read our short blog on How to Know if You’re in an Abusive Relationship. Sometimes, it’s not so clear.
How to End a Toxic Relationship: Reflect on why you want to end the relationship
At times, you may feel back and forth about ending the relationship. When things are good, you feel really close, and that you’re best friends. Other times, you aren’t proud to call them your partner. You might worry about being alone, and not finding anyone like them.
It’s true that solid connections don’t form out of thin air. It takes time and dedication to form trusting and loving bonds with others. However, sometimes what you experience may be more of a trauma bond.
What are some reasons why you want to end the relationship? Are you feeling that your feelings aren’t being heard, and your needs aren’t being met? Do you feel that you’re being controlled, guilted, or manipulated at times? Does the relationship feel imbalanced?
Maybe you and your partner just don’t see eye to eye anymore. You have different aspirations and goals, and want different futures. Whatever it may be, there are legitimate reasons to end it. Listen to your gut, and try to avoid overthinking it.
How to End a Toxic Relationship: Set and maintain firm boundaries
You may need to set and maintain firm boundaries not only with them, but with yourself. Your partner may not be happy that you are wanting to officially end and leave the relationship. They may struggle with their own mental health issues, and look to you to help them cope.
By having boundaries in place with others as well as yourself, you can better meet your needs and goals. An example of a boundary could be having no contact with your ex-partner. You request them to not reach out, and to give you space.
Anxiety therapy in Simi Valley, Ca can help you identify boundaries to make with others and yourself. Make sure to read our blogs on How to Set Boundaries and Are Boundaries Important in a Relationship?
How to End a Toxic Relationship: Spend time alone
Spend some time alone with yourself. This may be uncomfortable for you, and something you haven’t done much before. It could be that unfortunately, due to the toxic relationship, your support system isn’t the same as it used to be.
Although you and your partner have a toxic relationship, you still find comfort and solace in them. When you separate, you may feel entirely alone. This can cause you to feel nervous and lonely, and possibly seek them out again. However, you may not be acting in your best interest long-term.
Spending time alone with yourself can be healing. You may befriend yourself more than you thought you could, and love alone time. You can do things such as going for walks, getting coffee/a meal, working out, shopping, etc. Maybe there are certain activities, events, or places you want to go to. Consider taking yourself out on dates.
Individual therapy in Simi Valley can help you build up the confidence to go out and do things alone. Although it seems intimidating, or even embarrassing, you can learn to love sitting with yourself. Read our blog on the 3 Benefits of Individual Counseling!
How to End a Toxic Relationship: Seek out support from a mental health professional
Seeking out support from a mental health professional will be very helpful for you. Aside from talking about your experience in this relationship, you’ll be able to understand a lot more. It could be that aspects from your childhood play a part in your attachment style to others.
Maybe you have other traumatic experiences in your life that you want to heal from. You may feel depressed or anxious, worrying about starting new relationships. Having the proper coping mechanisms and support can help guide you through it.
A therapist will be able to provide consistent support, and talk through the same issues with you. They will help you implement coping strategies, navigating support systems, and learning how to recover from your relationship on a regular basis.
You don’t have to go through this confusing or difficult process alone.
In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.
By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either.
Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!
Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.