My Teen is Self-Harming – 3 Things to Do

This short blog shares information for your search of my teen is self-harming, with 3 things to do. You may be a concerned parent that recently became aware of this, or feel that they may be hiding it from you. You’re not sure what this means, and worry that they may be suicidal. 

 

While self-harming should always be taken seriously, there are things to understand about this behavior. Self-harming is a maladaptive coping behavior that provides a sense of relief and control. Your teen is likely feeling distressed and is unsure of how to regulate themselves. 

 

Self-harming can be done superficially, where there is no intent to fatally injure themselves. Nonetheless, it’s still a clear sign that your teen is in need of support. While they require yours, it’s also important to connect them with a teen therapist. 

 

Teen therapy in Simi Valley, Ca provides a non-judgmental, compassionate space. Make sure to read our blog on Preventing Teen Suicide!

 

My Teen is Self-Harming – 3 Things to Do: What is self-harm?

Self-harming is the act of intentionally harming yourself to relieve emotional pain or stress. There are different emotional states where one may self-harm. This includes times of distress or panic, intense sadness, or rage or anger. 

 

Types of Self-Harm

Individuals can self-harm through different methods. Common ones include:

 

• Cutting 

 

• Burning

 

• Punching / hitting themselves

 

• Pinching themselves

 

Individuals can use different items to self-harm. For example, an individual who cuts themselves may use razor blades, scissors, knives, sharp objects, or more. One can burn themselves with a lighter or by touching hot objects. Through punching oneself, they can also engage in banging their head against a wall.

 

Why is My Teen Self-Harming?

 

There are different reasons that someone may be harming themselves. It’s commonly used as a way to relieve stress, as it occurs at the peak of emotional intensity. Your teen may also be using this as a form of punishment. They are unhappy with some aspect of themselves, and feel that they deserve to feel pain. 

 

Self-harming is also a cry for help. It’s a way to express oneself that they are hurting internally, and need support. They’re seeking to indirectly express how intense they are feeling inside. It can also indicate someone struggling with passive suicidal ideation, and not necessarily wanting to die. 

 

Why your teen is self-harming may not be so evident. They could be a seemingly happy child, excelling in school or sports. With this, they may be surrounded by a supportive community of family and friends. Opening up about self-harm is uncomfortable, and factors such as culture can affect how it’s perceived.

 

Signs Your Teen is Self-Harming

 

Some indicators that your teen may be struggling with self-harm include:

 

• Wearing long sleeved clothing that doesn’t align with the weather. For example, they may be wearing a large hoodie in 90 degree weather. This may be done to conceal any injuries, as they mainly occur on the arms, thighs, or stomach. 

 

• Isolating themselves frequently.

 

• Struggling with depression, such as hopelessness, low motivation, and lethargy.

 

• Hiding sharp objects such as razors around their room or bathroom.

 

• Having excuses for injuries on their body that don’t make sense. For example, they may claim a cat scratched them, even though the cuts are deep and symmetrical.

 

It’s important to not pressure your child into opening up about any self-harming. Teen therapy in Simi Valley, CA pairs them with an experienced teen therapist for support. Make sure to read our blog on 3 Benefits of Teen Therapy!

 

My Teen is Self-Harming – 3 Things to Do: Connect them with a mental health professional

Connecting them with a mental health professional helps provide them with support in several ways. It could be that your teen harbors a lot of shame around their self-harming, and does not open up about it. In the home and family dynamic, they feel misunderstood or judged for this behavior. While your reactions may be coming from a good place, they may still be resistant to confiding in you. 

 

Your teen may be feeling alone in their struggles. They’re not sure how to stop self-harming, as it does provide that temporary release of stress. However, when a new or recurring stressor comes, they resort to this coping strategy. They may want to deepen their understanding of themselves to stop this behavior. 

 

A teen therapist will provide a space for your teen that feels safe and comfortable. Your teen will feel that they don’t have to hide anything, and can be fully open about what’s going on. During teen therapy, the therapist works to establish that trust with them. Talking about these difficult feelings is important, although it can be uncomfortable at times. 

 

My Teen is Self-Harming –  3 Things to Do: Be compassionate and non-judgmental

It’s important to have a compassionate and non-judgmental stance for your teen. Of course, you don’t want to see them hurting themselves. The thought of them cutting or burning their body makes you cringe. Envisioning your teen purposely harming themself can cause alarm bells to ring off in your mind.

 

As mentioned, self-harming is not always indicative of wanting to die. Your teen may not be contemplating suicide, but may say things along the lines of not wanting to be around. This is passive suicidal ideation, and self-harming is a way for them to express that. 

 

It can be difficult talking with your teen about these things; especially if they are hesitant to open up. Remain open and curious to how they could be feeling. Avoid sharing how self-harming affects you as a parent. Although it is valid to feel distraught, it likely doesn’t help the teen. The focus is shifted from supporting them, which is the main goal of these discussions. 

 

Naturally sharing how much you love and care for your teen goes a long way. It can feel awkward trying to talk about these difficult topics with them. However, you are capable of being a safe space for them to go to. Connecting with a therapist in Simi Valley provides the both of you with support moving forward!

 

Consider calling us today for a free consultation on therapy for teens or family counseling. We’re here to support you in your healing journey. 

 

In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.

 

By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. By clicking here, you’ll read our blog on Information About Simi Valley Therapists.

 

Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!

 

Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.