Why Do I Invalidate Myself?

This blog answers your question, why do I invalidate myself? You may be someone that experiences constant invalidation – from yourself. Going through daily life, you feel that your negative self talk has become overwhelming. Switching up the dialogue to a more healthy or accepting manner feels difficult. Maybe undeserving.

 

You know that you want to begin incorporating more self-validation, but you’re not sure how. For a long time, speaking negatively to yourself is all you know. It feels automatic at this point, and you’ve accepted how you view yourself. However, this doesn’t have to continue on in your future!

 

Working on self-validation takes time and effort. It takes recognition in the moment, reasoning with yourself, and advocating for yourself. It’s almost like having a discussion with yourself, such as talking with the angel and devil on your shoulder. 

 

You may invalidate yourself due to struggles with self acceptance/self-love. Your upbringing, or social environments, can also influence how you perceive yourself. Finally, you may be struggling with various mental health issues.

 

Working with a therapist in Simi Valley, Ca helps you process and understand thoughts and feelings in an effective way. Make sure to read our blog on 3 Benefits of Sitting with Discomfort!

 

Why Do I Invalidate Myself?: Struggles with self-acceptance or self-love

You may have struggles with self-acceptance or self-love. Self-acceptance is defined as the act of accepting yourself completely, including positive and negative attributes. Self-love is defined as an appreciation of one’s own worth or virtue. Therefore, the perceived negative attributes may deter you from accepting yourself. You may also feel that you do not have worth or virtue.

 

Let me tell you now – you are worthy! All of us have things we struggle to accept or like about ourselves. It’s common to have insecurities, which may stem from comparing ourselves to others. Perhaps you feel that if you’re not like someone else, you don’t bring anything to the table. This may hold you back from acceptance or love for yourself.

 

In therapy, you can expect to do self-exploration into the deeper crevices of your insecurities. What is holding you back from accepting or loving yourself? Maybe you struggle with guilt and shame. Perhaps you feel that you have no purpose, and can’t credit yourself for anything. Where does this all stem from?

 

Creating that loving and trusting relationship within yourself isn’t easy. It feels unnatural, and that there is truly nothing to feel good about. You may ruminate a lot and prevent yourself from exploring different perspectives or possibilities. 

 

Having a goal to increase self-acceptance and self-love is reasonable and possible. In therapy in Simi Valley, you and your therapist will develop and track progress towards your goals together. Make sure to read our blog on How Long Should I Be in Therapy?

 

Why Do I Invalidate Myself?: Our social environments may have an influence on how we perceive ourselves

It could be that your social environments have an influence on how you perceive yourself. In some cultures, it is frowned upon to express personal struggles or sadness. There may be expectations to only show strong parts of yourself. This can make it difficult for you to feel comfortable in admitting that you’re struggling, and need support. 

 

In general life, you may be surrounded by people who also invalidate you. This could look like shaming you, embarrassing you, or discrediting the difficulties you’re experiencing. You may have been called names, been insulted, or laughed at for opening up. This discourages us from doing so in the future, and forces us to struggle in silence. 

 

It’s important to consider how supported you feel by the people in your social environments. Do you feel safe in opening up about certain things? Are you experiencing judgment from others? Do people tend to joke, and not take the things you say seriously?

 

Having a strong support system is crucial to our wellbeing. Without it, we can feel very alone in our issues. We have no one to really turn to, and are already struggling internally. Therefore, surrounding yourself with people you trust is important. 

 

Establishing safety in our lives is crucial during trauma therapy in Simi Valley, Ca. Make sure to read our blog on How to Process Trauma!

 

Why Do I Invalidate Myself?: Struggles with various mental health issues

You may have struggles with various mental health issues. Conditions like anxiety, depression, ADHD, or PTSD can influence how you perceive yourself and the world around you. Furthermore, additional symptoms can interfere with daily functioning. This includes low motivation, energy, panic attacks, inattentiveness, and more. 

 

According to PsychCentral.com, emotional invalidation can also contribute to the development of a mental health condition. Symptoms may worsen over time as they are not properly or effectively addressed. By invalidating yourself, you may feel that you’re losing hope, or even control, over yourself. 

 

We may harshly judge ourselves for the conditions we have. If you’re struggling with ADHD, you may put yourself down for issues with focus and concentration. You may compare yourself to others who do not have the same experience. With PTSD, you may turn to blaming yourself, feeling upset with yourself, and more. 

 

It could be that you’re struggling with grief right now. You may have lost someone important to you, or lost something important to you. You can be struggling with an array of symptoms, difficult feelings, and more. With a lack of support from others, as well as from yourself, you turn the blame internally.

 

In sum, emotional validation is a sign of a mental health condition. With existing mental health conditions, your symptoms may exacerbate as the invalidation continues on. This makes it harder for you to connect with support, be vulnerable with others, and see your life as worth living. You have the potential to rework your inner thoughts and become the best version of yourself!

 

Invalidating ourselves probably feels automatic, even deserved at times. However, the way we talk to ourselves matters. Our brain doesn’t know the difference between a self-deprecating joke and the true perception of ourselves. When we’re able to change the way we think and talk to ourselves, we can notice positive changes in our daily life.

 

In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.

 

By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. By clicking here, you’ll read our blog on Information About Simi Valley Therapists.

 

Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!

 

Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.