As a parent, you may ask yourself, “why is my teen so angry?”. Teenage angst is normal, and very common during adolescence. However, your teen is, like, really angry. They are directing all the anger at you, family members, or others such as teachers or strangers.
They may curse at the top of their lungs, slam doors, blame others for their emotional state of mind. It’s possible they take anger out on themselves, through self-harming behaviors such as cutting or burning. There may be instances of aggressive behavior towards others as well.
It’s always concerning when your teen is harboring a lot of anger. However, the reason behind that is not always so simple. Many factors contribute to a teen having anger, and struggling to release it in effective ways. You want to support them, but first you need to understand them.
Why is My Teen So Angry?: They feel misunderstood
Adolescence is a very complex time for your teen. They are trying to figure out who they are, and what they want to be. It’s common for teens to struggle with gender identity or sexuality. Furthermore, they may feel pressure to have their career lined up, perform well in school or sports, or more.
Teenage angst is common. Typical grumpiness, dismissiveness, or even isolation. As your teen is transitioning out from being a child, they’re in this middle ground to being an adult. Most teens want to jump straight to being an adult, and skip this stage.
It could be that your teen feels misunderstood. No one can understand the confusion, pain, or frustration they are harboring inside. This can be due to receiving invalidation from parents or others, having cultural expectations, or more. Regardless, your teen likely feels that they’re navigating this time alone.
As parents, this blog is critical to read whether your teen is struggling with suicidal ideation or not: Crucial Steps Parents Can Take to Prevent Teen Suicide, linked here.
Why is My Teen So Angry?: Their needs aren’t being met
Your teen’s needs aren’t being met could be a major part in why they are angry. Needs include emotional or physical. Depending on your teen, there are specific actions that can help meet their needs.
Emotional needs could look like having compassion or empathy from parents. Say your teen is struggling with depression or with academics. They are having a hard time, but the parents are labeling them as lazy.
Your teen may yearn to feel accepted by you as parents. When a teen is acting out behaviorally, a parent can feel closed off or that they’re receiving unfair treatment. You may not want to give your teen that acceptance, if they keep acting in certain ways.
Physical needs could look like having privacy, trust, or autonomy. For example, if you take their door away as a form of punishment, it’s unlikely they will benefit from this. Your teen will end up having more reason to resent you for taking away their privacy. The uncomfortable cycle will continue if their physical needs are not met.
Why is My Teen So Angry?: They are struggling to cope with big feelings
Even if you feel that you are constantly offering support, they still struggle to cope or open up. They may hold beliefs that they need to put on a happy face, and not let anyone know they’re struggling. Similar to feeling misunderstood, there may be shame or embarrassment around their feelings.
They may cope through unhealthy means, such as through self-harm, using drugs or alcohol, acting impulsively or recklessly, and more. Your teen may find escape from their symptoms through these ways. Although it feels like it’s helping, it can hinder their ability to cope long-term.
Supporting your teen to find healthy alternatives to cope or express themselves helps them in understanding and managing their anger. This could be through activities, sports, crafts, and much more. If your teen already has a healthy coping mechanism, find ways to keep them connected to it.
Teen therapy in Simi Valley, CA helps your teen not only learn coping skills, but how to actively use them in times of stress. Make sure to read our blog on Why Your Teen May Be Self-Diagnosing.
Parenting teens is hard. Especially if it feels like a losing battle, where you’re not sure how to support them. Consider calling us today for a free consultation for teen therapy, family counseling, or parenting therapy!
In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.
By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either.
Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!
Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.