When Will I Feel Better in Therapy?

When Will I Feel Better in Therapy?

You’ve been in individual therapy for some time now and are wondering, “when will I feel better in therapy?” A few weeks have passed by and you are still feeling timid, on edge, you can’t shake some negative feelings. Your relationship with your partner is still stressful. The family matter that became too stressful to navigate alone has not been fully resolved. 

 

Because of this, you ask yourself: when will I start feeling better? Is therapy even working for me? I’ve opened up to my therapist about something difficult and then I left feeling worse about it. You start to doubt the efficacy of therapy, even though it’s known to stir up very uncomfortable feelings and decisions.

 

Consider this: you may be using therapy as a coping mechanism to mask or bandage your internal pain. Sometimes, we don’t even know that we’re doing that. It’s understandable to assume that if you just come in once a week, things will naturally get better. However, you hold all of the power to make significant changes in your life. 

 

And, better yet, you are fully capable of making positive and healthy changes in your life that benefit yourself and your relationships. 

 

Also, consider that some therapists just aren’t the right fit. If you match with someone and they continuously fail to understand you, remember important facts, or lack compassion, it’s okay to end it. Being with the right fit therapist in Simi Valley is crucial for effective therapy. The therapeutic relationship you share with your therapist actually plays a major role in how effective this process will be. 

 

Consider your initial goals or reasons for starting therapy

Consider what you initially wanted to address in therapy. Perhaps you noticed exhibiting a lot of people pleasing tendencies that left you feeling unappreciated in your relationships. You felt like you were always bending over backwards for others, but did not receive the same effort back. This leaves you feeling frustrated, sad, and confused. So, you want to discuss this in the therapy room. 

 

Fast forward a few weeks, what behaviors have you begun to develop or alter? Are you becoming more mindful or aware of your reactions? Do you feel more connected to your emotional side, signaling what you may be needing? Have you instilled personal boundaries and gotten opportunities to abide by them?

 

It’s understandable that once we get in the therapy room, we think that things should start changing. We’re attending therapy every week – when’s the other shoe going to drop? Well, that’s entirely up to you. Creating meaningful change in your life and relationships takes time. It’s also a process dependent entirely upon your motivation and engagement to start it. It is not a process that can, or should be, rushed. Connect with us today to learn more about working with a Simi Valley therapist.

 

Clarifying the therapist’s role in your individual therapy

You may have been struggling with anxiety and uncertainty for years; even decades. Various life stages have passed you by that included major life transitions. No matter your age, you have gone through several developmental stages before reaching the therapy office. You may be addressing accumulative trauma that has been held deeply inside of you. 

 

When you are initially meeting with a therapist, their primary goal is to get to know and understand you. This goes further beyond just knowing your hobbies, interests, career, the “tea” in your or your friend’s lives. They want to gather insight into your patterns: how you handle conflict, how you cope with stress, how you view and treat yourself. 

 

Now, you’ve spent all this time so far getting quite acquainted with yourself. You know your antics, behaviors you feel kind of guilty about, or expected reactions that you could have. There have been countless opportunities to react, behave, think, or feel certain ways; and all of this contributes to how you view yourself in the world around you. 

 

Even if you’ve been seeing a therapist for three months, you’ve only seen them for a total of 12 hours. That’s comparable to spending half a day with you in the span of three months. With that, it would not be possible to get to know your unique intricacies, significant history, and more. 

 

So, what is your individual therapist doing in all of this? The goal is for your therapist to be a mirror for you in your current stage of life. By building strong rapport with you, your Simi Valley therapist can challenge unhelpful thought patterns or beliefs. They can ask you to engage in deep self-reflection, which may not be entirely possible in your other relationships. This is a space where you can truly be yourself, share your fears, and explore taboo parts of your conscience. 

 

A therapist doesn’t give you advice. They help you formulate your own advice to yourself. Their role isn’t to tell you what to do with your life; only you can and should be able to make that decision. By considering psychology, systemic theories, and providing psychoeducation, your therapist can help you make life decisions that feel right for you. By restoring that self-trust within yourself, you can ultimately rely less on therapy, and more on yourself.

 

Reflect on what may hold you back from vulnerability

Being vulnerable in therapy does not come easy. Some people are a lot more ready and willing to dust off the skeletons in their closet. They’ve been suppressing complex feelings or thoughts for so long, and are so ready to have a space to relinquish them. Other people are more skeptical about the therapeutic process. It can take time to develop a sense of trust with your therapist. 

 

What may be holding you back from engaging in vulnerability? Were you previously shamed for having difficult feelings or thoughts? Have people judged you, disapproved of you, or felt hopeless about you before? Maybe the idea of discussing certain topics, such as relationship intimacy, makes you cringe? Perhaps you grew up in a culture that rejected the idea of men opening up. Or, there are strong gender role expectations that you feel a need to adhere to.

 

These are great jumping off points to bring up with your therapist. Even to disclose that you feel uncomfortable talking about something is a step in the right direction. The pace of what you discuss in therapy is left up to you for what you want to dive into that day. How much detail can be revealed at a time is up to you as well. As previously mentioned, therapy is not a process to rush. Especially if you are discussing traumatic topics, consider slowing things way down for effective therapy.

 

It matters to be paired with someone who you feel you can eventually get comfortable with. Furthermore, it takes time to build a therapeutic relationship with your therapist. The longer and more consistent you work together, the more effective the therapy process.

 

In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.

 

By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. By clicking here, you’ll read our blog on Information About Simi Valley Therapists.

 

Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!

 

Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.