Talking About Insecurities in Relationships

This blog is on talking about insecurities in relationships. We all have our own set of insecurities about ourselves. Whether we’re fully open about them or not, they can show up in our everyday lives. In relationships, they tend to resurface strongly, or remind you of their presence at inconvenient times. 

 

It’s normal to have insecurities. We may compare ourselves, question our self-worth, and more. Our insecurities could have been forged long ago, in our childhood. How we handle our insecurities, and how we talk to ourselves, matters a lot! In relationships, being vulnerable can feel uncomfortable. 

 

We worry what our partner may think about our insecurities. You don’t want to be seen as “less than” or a “burden”. However, when you can lean into trusting your partner, you can strengthen your connection with each other. Creating a healthy and compassionate relationship with your partner occurs during these difficult moments.

 

Therapy in Simi Valley provides you with a non-judgmental and compassionate space. Make sure to read our blog on Having Self-Compassion (When You Don’t Want To).

 

Talking About Insecurities in Relationships: Seek out individual therapy

It could be that in your relationship, you’re noticing feeling insecure about things. Although your partner gives you the space to feel heard, understood, and comfortable, the insecurity lingers on inside of you. Although you want to feel secure in yourself, you find that it tends to loop and resurface.

 

While you should talk openly with your partner about insecurities that come up, consider having your own space for that. As I mentioned, insecurities can be developed within us long before the relationship. They could stem from your childhood, comparisons to others, and more. 

 

Individual therapy is highly recommended if you are struggling with anxiety, depression, or past trauma. You’ll have a space to truly dive into these parts of yourself, to process and better understand them. You and your therapist can work together to build greater self-insight, self regulation, and increased empathy for yourself.

 

Ultimately, it will be up to you to heal those parts of yourself with self-compassion and trust. Your partner cannot solely fix your insecurities. No matter how much reassurance or validation they provide, it goes deeper than that. It takes looking under the surface to see what parts of yourself are hurt and need to be healed.

 

Individual therapy in Simi Valley, CA is held in-person at our office. Make sure to read our blog on Why Start Therapy?

 

Talking About Insecurities in Relationships: Work on increasing self-compassion and trust

Building self-compassion and trust in yourself takes time. It’s not an overnight process, and you’ll experience moments where you feel like you’re taking a few steps back. Having compassion for ourselves is difficult, and doesn’t always come easily. There are days where it feels natural, and days where it feels impossible.

 

This is especially true if we carry a lot of shame within ourselves. Even if we’re shameful due to things out of our control. We may be stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, or looking for confirmation bias. We may have skewed beliefs that we are not the best partner for our partners. Therefore, we constantly look for things that confirm that.

 

It’s important to be aware of what specifically we lack compassion for within ourselves. Do we not give ourselves the credit when it’s due? Are we constantly comparing ourselves to others, even strangers on the internet? Do you feel that you are undeserving of love, and why?

 

Consider ways that you can increase your own self-compassion or trust in yourself now. If this is difficult, think about it from a third person perspective. When you can trust in yourself and decisions you make, you can feel more confident. By starting out in small ways, you’ll become more aware of opportunities to practice this.

 

Anxiety therapy in Simi Valley is a great tool for coping with anxiety. Make sure to read our blog on Signs It’s Time to Start Anxiety Therapy!

 

Talking About Insecurities in Relationships: Work on clear and healthy communication with your partner

Clear and healthy communication with your partner is key to talking about insecurities in relationships. Without that, we may not be able to fully understand or hear our partner. We also may not be able to properly express what’s going on for us. 

 

No one enters a relationship having it all figured out. When you’re with someone, you both are constantly growing, and learning more about yourselves. Being with someone that accepts and acknowledges that is important! Our partners are there to help us feel safe and secure.

 

It’s important to acknowledge the feelings coming up for you with insecurity. Perhaps you feel frustrated, confused, or sad. For example, maybe you’re not feeling your best one day. Let your partner know what’s going on for you, and what you are needing. This could look like needing space for yourself, or needing some quality time together. By voicing what’s coming up for you, you can move to taking action to resolve or cope with it.

 

Talking about insecurities in relationships can be difficult. Having your own individual space to learn more about yourself and your needs can help. Consider contacting us today for a free consultation on therapy in Simi Valley!

 

In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.

 

By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. By clicking here, you’ll read our blog on Information About Simi Valley Therapists.

 

Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!

 

Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.