This blog is on therapy for one: what you can accomplish without your partner. There are outstanding issues in your relationship, whether from the past, or ongoing. You may be struggling to heal from your partner’s past cheating. Communication feels shattered, and that you’re walking on eggshells around difficult topics.
You’re reaching out to couples therapists, or reading articles online, and your partner is not as involved as you. Your partner may be checked out, skeptical of therapy, or it’s unclear what the future holds for your relationship. It feels lonely, unfair, and confusing to navigate by yourself.
However, here’s the truth: individual therapy can be a powerful tool for creating change in your relationship – even if your partner never sets foot in the room. You can accomplish healing, learn healthy communication skills, create boundaries, and much more. You may think couples therapy is the key to your relational problems – but doing individual therapy can be beneficial, if not more.
Individual therapy in Simi Valley is held in-person, or virtually in the state of California. Make sure to read our blog on the 3 Benefits of Individual Counseling.
Therapy Isn’t Just for Couples
Couples counseling isn’t the only path to relational healing. You may feel that if your partner isn’t in the room with you, you won’t be truly heard or seen. However, therapy for one is not a waste if your partner isn’t present.
This is because change doesn’t require both people to start simultaneously. Attempting to start the process when one partner isn’t fully bought in, can be unproductive or ineffective. Your individual growth in therapy can still shift the relationship dynamic in meaningful ways! Let’s discuss how.
What You Can Accomplish on Your Own
Therapy for one: what you can accomplish on your own. There are several things you can accomplish in your own individual therapy. Having your own private space to discuss these topics can bring a sense of relief. You can be fully honest without worrying about how your partner may react in these conversations.
Gaining Clarity
One reason you may seek to start couples counseling is to gain clarity on the relationship. Do I want to stay in this relationship? Is it worth trying to fix things with my partner? Will they be able to listen and hear me?
In individual therapy, you can discuss and process what’s happening in the relationship. This may pertain to the past, communication styles, expectations, and more. With that, you can also understand what you want to happen in a relationship.
Are there differences in what you want to happen versus what is happening? When you’re in therapy by yourself, you can openly discuss this. This can bring a sense of clarity by reflecting on your needs, wants, and values.
Learning Self-Regulation
Our struggles with self-regulation may lead to issues in communication. This includes getting easily overwhelmed or frustrated, where we take that out on our partner. We may not communicate how we want, or treat each other with respect in heated moments.
Therefore, you can learn self-regulation and where difficult feelings are stemming from. It could be that you struggle with anxiety, anger, grief, or reactivity. By processing and growing in these areas, you can see benefits in several areas of your life.
Make sure to read our blog on How to Understand Anger. This resource provides you with 3 ways to reflect and understand where anger comes from. Trauma therapy in Simi Valley, CA provides you with a compassionate space to explore this further.
Boundaries
Boundaries are essential in relationships. It’s important to identify what’s okay and what’s not okay in your relationship. There are a number of things you can establish boundaries with. This includes communicating, availability, sex & intimacy, social settings, and more. In individual therapy, you can learn how to communicate and enforce these limits effectively.
We wrote a blog on How to Set Boundaries. This blog is a great resource for understanding what you can establish boundaries on and how to do so. Anxiety counseling near Thousand Oaks, Ca can help you with boundary setting.
Patterns
Some individuals may not want to attend couples counseling due to fear of judgment. There are concerns that difficult moments will be brought up – and they aren’t ready to talk about them. However, you’re ready to show up and dive deep into the dynamic of the relationship. This includes examining your own role in the cycle. No relationship is perfect, and your therapist knows that.
Couples therapy isn’t about assigning blame – it’s about taking agency together. When one partner is not bought into the process, you can still take your own agency. We always have room to grow and learn about ourselves. Reflecting inwards brings awareness and insight into our feelings and actions.
Are you interested in how your childhood may play a role into your adult life? Make sure to read our blog on 3 Reasons to Start Childhood Trauma Therapy. Our therapists in Simi Valley are trauma-informed and experienced.
Decision-Making
You may want to attend couples therapy due to making a big decision. You’re needing clarity on whether you want to stay and repair the relationship. This can be a major decision – especially if you two share a life together. This includes sharing a living space, finances, pets, or have children together.
You can truly touch into your core values and the life you want to live. Therapy can help you decide: Should I stay and work on this? What would I need in order to feel good about staying? Or… is it time to let go?
In these scenarios, individual counseling can help you immensely. You can benefit from the above discussions by yourself, and leave feeling relieved. These are not easy conversations, but you’re doing right in trying to make some changes. Our therapists offering anxiety therapy in Simi Valley are here to support you.
Ripple Effects on the Relationship
Therapy for one: what you can accomplish on your own. Let’s say that you’ve been in individual therapy for a while, and the growth is starting to show. You’re benefitting from the safe space, no-judgment environment, and being honest with yourself. You may be showing up differently in your relationship as well.
You may notice changes in your demeanor and behavior in the relationship. You’re feeling calmer, clearer, and less reactive. With the tools you’ve learned, and insight you’ve made, you’re feeling good about yourself. This can ultimately change the dynamics of your relationship.
At times, doing individual therapy before couples counseling can draw a partner in. It can help you see more clearly what’s sustainable and what’s not. It shows your partner that you’re making efforts to repair the relationship by doing your own inner work.
If your partner is still not open to couples counseling, you at least have a sense of direction, peace, and empowerment. Seeking therapy alone is a brave and wise move – not a sign of failure or defeat.
You may feel alone in this process right now. But taking this step for yourself is not only courageous—it’s impactful. Whether your partner joins you later or not, you’re doing something meaningful for your well-being, your clarity, and your future.
In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues. This blog is: Therapy for one: what you can accomplish on your own.
By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. By clicking here, you’ll read our blog on Information About Simi Valley Therapists.
Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!
Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA. Therapy for one: what you can accomplish on your own.