How to Accept Yourself

This blog answers your question of how to accept yourself. You’re likely here because you’re currently struggling to do so. And hey – I don’t blame you. It’s hard to accept ourselves in many different areas – especially when we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others. This could be people in our lives, or strangers on the internet. 

 

Accepting yourself isn’t an overnight accomplishment. It’s also not a mindset that you experience daily. On days where we feel proud of ourselves, we can feel happy. On days where we feel lesser-than, we can feel defeated all over again. It can feel like an uphill battle at times, but when you put in the effort, you can still feel resilient. 

 

A lot of accepting yourself comes from having inner-shame. You can develop and maintain shame for numerous reasons. Patterns of shame could have started in childhood, during your adolescent years, or in your adulthood. We may develop shame as a response to a reaction that worries, scares, or embarrasses us. 

 

Therapy in Simi Valley, CA is a great place to start learning to accept yourself. Make sure to read our blog on Having Self-Compassion (When You Don’t Want To).

 

How to Accept Yourself: Be more aware of your inner dialogue

Our inner dialogue can be an automatic process. According to Healthline.com, it is the result of certain brain mechanisms that cause you to “hear” yourself talk in your head – without actually speaking and forming sounds. It’s also called intrapersonal communication. Examples can include thinking to oneself “I will do better next time” after having made a mistake. Or, they can sound like “I’m such a failure”. 

 

It’s common that our intrapersonal communication can be harsh and mean. It may directly go towards shaming ourselves, putting ourselves down, and more. As it comes on almost automatically, it makes sense why we tend to lean into that more; even though it makes us feel bad about ourselves.

 

Being aware of your inner dialogue helps you re-wire your thought processes. When you’re intentional about catching negative self-talk in the act, you can acknowledge it and where it’s coming from. What may be prompting these negative beliefs or thoughts about yourself? Are there significant events in your life that cause(d) you to feel like a failure on the spot?

 

In therapy in Simi Valley, you can work to gain a deeper understanding. Negative self-talk is fueled by the preconceived negative beliefs we have about ourselves. It’s hard to see through that, and focus more on the positive beliefs. Check out this article on Psychiatry.org about rumination – a common symptom of depression. Also, read our blog on 3 Symptoms of Depression!

 

How to Accept Yourself: Find reasons why it’s okay to praise yourself

Nothing may feel good enough when we do it. It’s likely that you feel genuinely proud, or happy, for others with their accomplishments. You know the goals your loved ones have, and when they reach them or are working towards them, it’s an accomplishment. For yourself, however, you don’t think it’s worth feeling good about. 

 

This ultimately robs you of feeling proud of yourself. You may have high expectations, but even when you reach them, you still feel that you could’ve done more. It may feel silly to acknowledge that you put effort into something, even if it wasn’t your anticipated result. 

 

Let’s say for example, you set your sights on finishing a paper for school. You were intentional about getting your references, citations, and started off writing strong. However, you noticed yourself getting distracted, and ultimately did not complete the paper at that time. You still have time to work on it, but feel hopeless that you weren’t able to stay on track. 

 

At least you started your paper off strong. That’s still something to keep in mind, compared to doing nothing for your paper at all. Acknowledging areas that you can improve in, tactics to use to stay focused, and more is the next step. Accepting that you worked towards your goal as being enough, and will continue working towards it, can help with self-praise.  

 

Make sure to read our blog on 5 Signs You’re Growing as a Person! Working with a therapist in Simi Valley supports you in working towards self-praise.

 

How to Accept Yourself: Remember that comparison is the thief of joy

The grass is greener on the other side, right? As humans, it can be natural to compare ourselves to others. This person is more attractive, they have more money, they have a home (in this economy!), etc. Maybe we compare ourselves to others in terms of the relationships or support they have. You can compare your education, career, personality, and more. In sum, if we strip ourselves down and constantly compare it, we lose our sense of self.

 

Who are you, really? What amazing qualities do you bring to the table? List out the accomplishments you’ve made in your life – big or small. What goals are you working towards – and what’s your progress? In what ways can you work towards goals you have for yourself? How can you accept yourself where you’re at? What can you feel proud of, today?

 

It’s hard going down that rabbit hole of self-dislike or even self-hatred. It can feel really hard to think or feel positively about yourself. The good news is, you can start working towards any goals now. Working on appreciating yourself for who you are, and what you already do, helps avoid that comparison rabbit hole. 

 

Working with one of our therapists in Simi Valley at New Leaf Marriage & Family Therapy can help you learn to accept yourself. We’re here to support you on your journey towards self-love! We offer virtual therapy in the state of California, and in-person therapy in Simi Valley.

 

In-person therapy in Simi Valley is ideal for those seeking a separate, safe space from their home. Check out our blog on Online Therapy or In Office Therapy to understand what format is best for you. Another great blog to read is ours on if you need Therapy or Medication to address your issues.

 

By seeking out support, you can begin your journey to feeling relief. You don’t have to go through finding the right level of support alone, either. By clicking here, you’ll read our blog on Information About Simi Valley Therapists.

 

Consider calling our therapy group at (805) 774-1506 for a free consultation on how you or a loved one can get started today!

 

Seek out a validating, safe environment with us today. We will help you get to where you want to be. Our therapists provide trauma therapy, teen therapy, individual adult therapy, LGBTQIA+ therapy, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, family therapy, and more in-office in Simi Valley, CA.